Even long-term couples have reservations about whether or not they will be able to stay together permanently. According to a psychotherapist, don’t hurry into filing a divorce when you’re in the thick of an intense disagreement. There may be various reasons for the petitioner stalling divorce and you might not consider to file for divorce online and wait quite longer.
1. OUR CHOICE
Among the most often asked questions by women seeking crisis treatment with a family therapist are the following: “Am I doing the right thing by divorcing my husband?” And, sure, it is a very significant one indeed. Ultimately, providing a definitive solution is impossible. The psychologist does not have a questionnaire or checkbox that you can use to evaluate if you’re on the correct track when determining whether or not a marriage is still viable. Many reasons are at play in this circumstance, such as a crisis situation or the fact that you were not prepared for some aspects of marriage and did not have the appropriate resources to deal with the problem.
It’s possible that ghosts from the past are haunting your relationship. Alternatively, if there is a genuine issue in your relationship that has to be addressed and divorce appears to be the natural option, you should consider filing for divorce. If your marriage has run out of steam or if you and your spouse aren’t a good match, there are various options for ending it. In this case, how do you choose who should divorce and who should not, when the true issue is on a different level altogether?
What is the best way to tell what is really going on between you and your partner? With the exception of circumstances in which you or your children are in urgent danger, I recommend that couples take a break and begin working on a solution to their problems. Here are the top five most prevalent reasons for a breakup, all of which have a double or triple-negative relationship duration link. If this is the case, you may have met some of these people before in your former marriage.
2. I DON’T FEEL HAPPY
In order to rapidly uncover the root cause of misfortune and eradicate it, this sentence includes a big logical fallacy. There is a lot to be said about focusing on the first half of the phrase: “You are not happy.” But how you and your spouse’s sentiments are linked is a major question (even if the answer to it seems obvious). It’s critical that you “separate” your husband from your state of mind at this stage by mentally pressing the “stop” button.
As an alternative, you should instead speak to your own thoughts and feelings. When was the last time you were happy? What triggered it, and when? Is there anything in your personal life or in the world that has caused you to lose your positive charge? What are you not doing that you should be doing? And when was the last time you were truly content with your life?
You may have become tired of making so many decisions and dealing with so many issues in the last several years. It’s possible that you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s possible that something in your life has shifted. We might get so consumed with our troubles that we lose sight of what’s going on around us. As a result, perhaps it’s time to discover who you are outside of your role as a wife and mother. What are your passions and what are the things that make you happy? It will take time to find the answers to these questions, but the voyage into one’s own depths is always a thrilling and interesting one. A “trick” may be an attractive technique to temporarily soothe your situation without actually addressing it if you don’t have the answers to the questions you’re asking yourself. This includes seeking a divorce.
You can’t just get divorced and have the emptiness in your heart go. In addition, a slew of new challenges might arise.
3. MARRIAGE FAILED
This item relates to marital expectations. They are usually fairly rosy, which is reasonable – after all, we all seek pure bliss and “have nothing for it.” But will a gorgeous wedding and presents prepare you for everyday family life? If it is your first marriage. A connection with him will be formed differently if he is not the first. Sure, it’s challenging.
Some couples get through it. Others get “stuck” in them and see actual challenges as a reason to disperse. You may always make an easy option, not invest in yourself, but just stay away from the wrong person. Of course, in some circumstances, like domestic violence, this is the only way. But not all marital issues are insurmountable.
Also, working together to tackle a problem might bring you closer and provide you with fresh insights. The dilemma is: Do I want a divorce or a new life with the person I already chose? Your self-esteem may have sunk due to the fact that you invested so much time and energy into a relationship that “didn’t work out as planned”.
4. CHEATING
This is definitely the toughest part. It’s hard to take counsel and attempt to see your marriage in a new light when you already know what occurred and the scars are still fresh. Maybe I can reassure you: people chose their partners carefully. Usually, these are the ones who best fit them. Adultery is an indication of a personal problem or problems in relationships with this most suited individual in 75% of cases, according to a study. The motives for creating a triangle instead of battling for marriage might vary – both for the cheating spouse and the one being cheated on.
Not to mention the issues between the two couples. In the same 75% of circumstances, if both parties want to repair the problem, it is possible. This does not imply you should strive to break treason! Restraining and repressing your feelings can only worsen your physical and mental health.
We’d want to at least discuss it. The best choice is to go to family counseling together to figure out what went wrong and when.
5. LOVE IS GONE
This is a typical pitfall for many couples. There is a vast difference between a loveless marriage and a loveless marriage. First comes acquaintance and reconciliation, next comes love and charm (what is sarcastically dubbed the “candy-bouquet period”), and finally deep attachment and a desire to be near “in sickness and health.” If the first two phases are perfect, and even the partner’s flaws are seen as attractive qualities, then the third phase (usually occurring in the second or third year of marriage) is already laying the groundwork for a long union.
Aggression, disillusionment, and objective life challenges will be present in this foundation (for example, loss of loved ones, financial problems, unsuccessful pregnancy, etc.). In this era, children do play a great role, which is the reason for the petitioner stalling divorce.
It is not easy. Many people suffer a loss of actual sentiments when they go from rose-colored glasses to a measured real world. But it doesn’t mean they’re gone! They simply evolved, naturally. Sure, this new love has numerous perks. Don’t miss out on life’s delights because you miss the early months’ rush. Yes, it won’t be like this forever, but it may be.